The third floor of the City college library..

It's really quiet up here. Everyone kind of tries to keep quiet for the sake of each other. 

There are those though, who don't really care. And jump around and stuff. And who are altogether tools.

But for the most part, I can actually think. 

I'm thinking about how blessed we are to have such valuable resources. Endless resources. I feel that I wouldn't be able to learn everything there is to learn on this floor alone in my lifetime. I honestly feel that is physically impossible. But then again, what if one was locked up here. Locked in a library. Given only books to live with. Hmm...

Locked in a library.

That'd be interesting.

We've been having really heavy skies.

And I've been playing with different ways of editing photos. =]

Cheers guys, Happy Monday!

I apologize, but I have my reasons.

I've been deathly ill you see, and I've found it kind of difficult to write.
But here I am, writing.

Today began slowly. I woke up early, and my throat wasn't as sore as it was yesterday. I coughed and coughed and coughed my way over to the bathroom, where after fixing myself up, realized I needed some tea.

One entire lemon, thick sliced with the ends squeezed into the cup.
After throwing the lemons in, cover them with an equal amount of honey.
Grab a Large spoon.
Mash it all up.
Thoroughly enjoy mashing.
Pour boiling water over a teabag that you will drop onto the sticky, lemony mess.
Drink it up, and repeat.

That's all I've been doing the past three days.
I recall recently talking about "Old Russian wives tales"
I guess karma bit me in the ass.

Shel Silverstein

“She had blue skin,

And so did he.

He kept it hid

And so did she.

They searched for blue

Their whole life through,

Then passed right by-

And never knew.”

― Shel Silverstein, Every Thing on It

Went on a mini Walkabout, Took some nice photos.

You guys are gonna love these.

Straight Toy Story clouds you guys.

One of the branches snapped during a windstorm.

Johnny put this here, and I didn't know until i came home.

It's kinda cool how the clouds that are furthest are a paler, darker blue.

This dude was cool with me taking a quick snap.

There comes a time.

There comes a time. While you're there, sitting.

At that computer screen of yours.

Your butt's all numb. And you're just thinking.

Why the heavens aren't I outdoors?

Pack a sandwich, grab some water.

Take the bike off of the rack.

Don't worry mother. It's temporary. 

After a spot of writing, I will be back.

Seriously, sometimes I just need to GET OUT. 

Be back soon guys. Gotta get some ideas.

Actors.

Don't try to make yourself interesting. But instead fully use yourself in order to make the story more interesting.

That is all.

Today

I woke, I brushed my teeth, I made my bed.

I made coffee, I sat outside, and I talked to a passing by relative.

She told me I shouldn't be barefoot on cold concrete.
Old Russian wives' tales.

I promise you this, there was a time when I would take an extremely hot bath in the evenings of winter. The cold, dry kind of winter you experience in the middle of winter. The boring, drawn out part. The part when you feel the loneliness, and then cope with it by having friends closer than you would in the summer. 

Yeah anyway, I'd take a hella hot bath right? And then lie down on the cold concrete outside my house.

..Granted, it was on a towel.. But I was heated. And it was cold. And I never got sick.

Well at least I wouldn't be able to blame it on the ritual. Because of it's consistency. I did that pretty much every night for some time. 

Old Russian wives' tales.

So yeah, drank my coffee. Pleasantly said farewell to the slightly-aging couple, and went inside.

Then I went to work on my youtube episode. One about all of the gear that I have, and will be using to make the videos I post. It's also the gear I use to post stuff here! Makes sense, right!?

Video was up, pretty cool.

Then my friend Jamie came over.

Then we went on a bike ride.

Then we flew some helicopters on the television.

Then my brother made some cookies, and oh boy were they good. They were peanut butter cookies. With giant chocolate boulders and peanut butter cups baked right in. All melting nice and slow like.
Accompanied by a tall, fresh from the freezer glass of ice-cold, Grade A, Vitamin D, Red Cap Milk.

Damn right.

We watched a movie afterwards, No wait. We watched LOST.

A ton of LOST. 

and now i gave up on that crap man it's like it wont end omg.

And I bid thee farewell my readers. Sorry for my random brainfarts and whatnot. It's inevitable. I'm slowly going mad you see. 

It's inevitable.

Good night guys
Here's a cool picture of Bill and me.

It's amazing how much we've slowed down.

I'm not knowledgeable on life as I should be. Hell, I'm only almost 22. And hell, I couldn't even spell knowledgeable without the auto-correct feature on my laptop. But when reading the writing of authors and how they felt about the world 20, 30, maybe even 50 years ago, even I can say that we, as a people have slowed down.

I just read a short chronicle by Mark Twain in a book called "San Francisco Stories". He talked about fashion, and his likes or dislikes concerning it. It's incredible how modest yet beautiful the fashion was in his day. How people genuinely looked for beauty in the way that they dressed.

What do we have now?

"10 ways to please your man" "Just grab him, and fire it up" "What's your sex life missing"

I can't avoid it. For God's sake, I can't even buy a thing of eggs from the grocery store without being bombarded with putrid tips on my basic instincts.

The average dumb broad sees tips on spicing up "Her" sex life. While the guy she's standing in line with eyes the woman on the front page and wonders what he would do to her.

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT" "IT'S TOTALLY NATURAL" "MY GOD, REALLY? IT'S SEX"

Sorry guys, I've had enough.

This stupid little phase our humanity is in... This senseless, useless, absolutely stagnant situation we're in. The unwillingness to progress as a species. The constant fight for attention. The constant egos and the unending nature of being centered on ones self.

It's irritating. It's disgusting. It's everywhere.

To every horrible story there is always a good side. God is the good side. As I am a male human, I am susceptible to the same tempting thoughts and lustful wants. But at least I'm willing to fight. And I know of many willing to fight. Fighting. And a good fight it is. And the Lord gives me strength.

"FIGHT WHAT? YOU'RE WEIRD."

To Fight what you already lost. You average-thinking american. You profit-providing, closed-minded scum, I pity you.



Love you guys, sorry for the negativity! [=

Sadness.

Unfortunately this what I feel.
I'm sitting in church right now. Immanuel Baptist Church in downtown Sacramento.
My close friends in this church recently lost their mother to cancer.
She was an angel among men. One of those people that, in our stupid and puny human opinion, was not supposed to get cancer. Didn't deserve cancer.
But that's a huge part of our belief. Understanding that God's really got everything under his control. And you really have nothing under control. Not even what sickness comes over you.
Life, I've learned recently, is incredibly fragile.
It is a thin slice of glass that we're standing on.
The longer we stand, the longer we think it'll hold.
The longer it holds, the more we forget that it's made out of glass.

A throwback photo...

I love this photo. It was taken by my cousin Anastasia Bulanov. 

I miss this place so, so much. 

So much that I don't mind the passage of time to experience it. 

Funny isn't it? We have times when we want time to fly by. And when it's gone, we forget ever feeling that way and wish it never did.

..hmm.

Nasty's Blog = http://anastasiabulanova.com/

My roommate Johnny.

A quick snap I took yesterday, and ran it through Lightroom using VSCO presets.
Lemme tell ya, they're something else...

I've grown to love the moon so much..

I love the moon. It always humbles me, and puts me in a state of complete awe.
I tried to capture it, but it's too blown out... Instead, look at the magic it creates in the clouds!

A short sketch with Johnny

The first of many sketches.

Boom --> Taquitos.

So I decided to make some Taquitos.
And I made some bombass Taquitos.

Boom. Taquitos.

Comics

This is the work of Ezra Butt.
Some mind-blowing story telling that has me laughing every time. 

I love the art as well!! Check it out when you can.

Crawdadswelcome.tumblr.com

An Airblast.

 Now Playing -   'harvest moon -  poolside'

It's amazing what you feel when a car drives by you. In that small,  incredibly short moment you feel something very powerful. A momentary pull forwards, and then a slingshot-like return back. All very tiny movements. All just for a fraction of a second.
But every car that passes has a different effect. The little cars' blast is much smaller and more polite than a big diesel-puffing V-12.
Then it also depends on how close they are...  

There's a certain breed of people that exist that most of us know. The kind of person that will walk past you and not mind bumping shoulders. No in fact, he or she would rather find pleasure in turning around and telling YOU to watch where YOU'RE going.
It seems they are the ones that drive nearest to my car. And when they pass by my little 88 crx, they deliver the biggest, and swiftest air blasts.
They may be trying to be rude, or they may not care at all. But I enjoy every blast my car moves because of.
Like that one just now. 

A walk through downtown.

My roommate and I decided to take a waltz through downtown.
We shot a little bit of video.

Cheers.

My Breakfast.

My mom makes these things. These magical, magical things.
They have cottage cheese and egg, and they're called Tvarozhniki.

My mom always eyeballs it. So every time they're different. Sometimes, they're softer and gooey-er. Sometimes they're more sweet than they are salty. But scrumptious every time.

Today, she hit some kinda Jackpot. Best ones ever. I told her to remember how much she eyeballed, and made a curiously strong cup of coffee.

I love late breakfasts.

In the waiting room I sit..

It's funny how sometimes, you're in an awkward situation.
Not tomato-faced and run-out-of-the-room awkward. But only just a tad.
Oh, i digress.

There I was, the cold clinic. Translating for my Grandmother from Russian to English was my job, and it was honestly kind of cool. I enjoyed her wise, humble company. And she sees it the other way around. Our relationship is pretty great.
I say, I digress!

There I was! People around us and silence. Just silence, and nobody saying a word. Each looking at something just to not make eye contact. Different older folk, Some very young folk, all kindza folk.
I had a pack of gum in my pocket, so I retrieved it. I unwrapped a slice of that delicious "soft mint" trident nice and slow-like.
After enjoying that first bite, I say pretty loudly, "Anyone want a piece of Gum?"
Two people seized the opportunity, but that's not even the best part.

Almost immediately after, conversations rose up and pleasantly disrupted the awful, slightly-awkward silence that was between us all.
My point guys and gals- is to always be that positive Vibe. BE that wave, that ripple that will cause others to do the same thing. Vibes to ripples, ripples to waves guys. ..and Gals. The butterfly effect is quite real, and it can change the world. One conversation, or good vibe at a time.


“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.."
Matthew 5:13-16

I loved my trip, but I miss the Kids.

When I went up to Washington, I got to spend some time with some of the best people alive. Some of those people were about half my age. And I have to say, they were probably the most noteworthy.
I love my little relatives. They're so full of life and curiosity. Always asking questions. Sometimes, even, to the point of vexing. But alas, they're kids man. It's good to constantly ask questions. This defines us as humans.
(Matthew 18:3)

I loved every moment with these little kids, and feel a little regret about leaving. I can't wait to see them next time.
And cry about how much they've grown..

This is Sophie. She's one of the coolest, smartest girls I know.

I'm finally back home.

Finally back in good old Sacramento.
But this means that I need to get to work. I'm currently editing all of my footage clips and putting together a sort of coming-home video.
It's a bit like practice for me as far as color correcting and lighting goes.
And I learned how to apply a pretty realistic grain, and film look.

Up soon!

Someone asked me why I write dark things.

I've been discovering that most writers write about fictional situations that they haven't experienced.

"I write to give myself strength.
I write to be the characters that I am not.
I write to explore all of the things I'm afraid of."
-Joss Whedon

You see, I think it is because my life has been on lyrics positive my whole life. I've had bad situations, yes. I've had times when I felt that I wanted to die.
But in general, life has been only good.
In hindsight, I'm very blessed.
All of my relatives are alive and well, our ties and relationships being very fruitful.
My parents and my siblings have been nothing other than edifying. Even though we have all had our falling out.

I believe that's why I love the grunginess of chaos.
Maybe that's why death fascinates me.
I may be blind to the reality of it, but still.

Violence is something I don't experience in my life, because I am a pretty good guy. Or so I hope.
So I love delving into it, creating it.

Sadness isn't something I feel everyday, so I love feeling it through characters in films, in stories.

I'm sorry guys. I'm sorry about the sad truth that I'm for feeling this way. Many people feel that isn't a good thing.
I beg to differ. I consider myself blessed. Being able to experience an enormous variety of emotions at all times.
Being able to switch back and forth on the swings of my feelings. If you can't..

Sucks for you.

I am kind of irritated

But I feel completely bad about it.
I spent the day with my two beautiful little cousins. And everything was great. Other than not being able to sleep last night...

But the reason is that I just want to go home.
I feel like I'm tagging along and spending time here whilst being forced to do so.
I miss my Sacramento.
I miss my mom and my brothers. My roommate Johnny.

I want to start working seriously on YouTube.
I want to start acting.
I feel like I'm at the beginning of the race of my life, my feet twitching and yearning to tear away and sprint.

A dream I woke up with.

We're at the Oregon Coast at a different house.
There's a knock at the door,  and there stands a seasoned man. About 55 years old, slightly round and he isn't happy. This is the owner of the house.

"You idiots broke the garbage can. Do you have any idea how much this is going to cost to replace?!"
It was my fault.
Yes I did break it. But it was an accident.
Here's the thing. The trash can was in the shape of a rocket. A shiny, silver retro looking rocket.
True,  hard to replace. But I would've tried.

"Sir, I'm so very sorry!"  I blurted out. "I can most definitely buy you a new one, and I can get on it in a few hours!"
"Hah! Look at you. You moron. What are you on, penicillin? He's on penicillin isn't he? Look at your eyes, I can tell."

*OK, I was shocked. I got so angry. I was being nice to him but he wasnt having any of it. 

I slammed the door and walked away from the door huffing and puffing at this guy's rudeness.
" Dude, penicillin?!" I yell towards Joe. "Penicillin is an antibiotic!"
Without further hesitation I grab our shotgun out of the closet. I walk back to the door and swing it open.

ClickClackBlam.
Just, BLOW the guy away right?

Next scene was he wakes up tied to a chair near a river somewhere out back.
(I guess I must've had a sandbag in the shotgun)
"look sir," I tried to reason. "this is the card you gave me right?"
I put an American express card from Costco down on the rock in from of him. Don't ask me how I got it. Don't remember.

He nods slowly, his head wet and weak. Bobbing back and forth like a car accessory.
"I'm going to buy you a new, normal, trash can on your card. Okay?" I asked. "And then I'll pay you back."

And then I just woke up.

Ugh God

I just read what I previously wrote.
What a stupid and self-centered post.
I'm sure that there's at least a million people on our planet right now who are going through the same thing.
Homesickness, writers' block, sleeplessness, infatuation, anxiety towards what the future has in store.

Maybe it's just late...

It's 4:56 am.

It's been about an hour now, and I can't fall asleep.
So many different things are running through my head right now. I'm not sure if it was what I read and wrote on Facebook. I'm not sure if it's me wanting to be back home in Sacramento.
I'm not even sure that this is making any sense.
But I'm here, at almost 5am.
Thinking over things instead of enjoying my sleep.
I'm not going to lie though. For some reason, I love this state.
This unexplained reason as to why I can't stop thinking, analyzing or coming to conclusions.
I think I'm going to grow into a very eccentric person.

And I hope that I can write something great one day.

Google now.

I have Google now on my phone. It's pretty smart, because it can tell where you spend your time most while you drive, and it guesses at where you live. After some time, it'll automatically tell you how long it'll take to get back home based on current traffic.
So I'm on my way back home to California, currently stopped in Oregon for the night.

I look at my phone, and Google now is telling me it'll take an hour and a half to get back home to Battleground, WA...
Suddenly my heart sunk, and the feeling of dreading my leave set in again.
I thought I got rid of it when I made the video about the beach house, but I guess I'm permanently sick.
I guess this is what people mean when they say they left their heart in San Francisco.
But I don't really like San Francisco anymore.
Well.....  Not as much as Portland anyway.

Isn't it funny how we as humans are?
We can spend such a small time with someone who makes us so bubbleheaded and flustered, and then feel such a void in us.
How important relationships are!
How incredibly pleasant they can be. Those kids from Spokane, from Seattle, from Portland.
These people are incredible.

And to think, Google Now sparked this thought.

It's been fun.

This vacation. It was full of a variety of different experiences. Nearly all of them positive.
I made a few great friends. The kind you'll probably end up knowing till you die.
I was taken back yet again by the coast of Oregon.
And then all the while by the freshness of this state, and Washington as well.
I learned so much about photography, and that wasn't even something I was shooting for.
I somewhat organized my thoughts on moving to Los Angeles.
I've also discovered that I have the ability to move to Portland whenever I want. Given the fact that I find a job.

Portland was really cool by the way. So incredibly different and alive.
We walked up to Salt & Straw, where in the window I saw our smiling friends waving at us. All 12 of them or so.
Cheered on by self-proclaimed musicians on the street, I climbed through the Window and sat at the table with my friends.
One of the seats was the windowsill, so it was pretty much asking for it.
After much festivities and panoramic photos taken, my friend Artem and I proceeded to go to his car for a talk. After the talk, I was very enlightened.
We proceeded to walk down 23rd, listening to different music sent out into the city through banjos and cellos. Guitars and gypsy-looking girls dancing to the rhythm, without a care in the world.
Who was I to resist! We danced, and burnt off a bit of the ice cream we ate.

After much more laughing while walking down the street with our troupe, after more sights and sounds, we retired to our houses.
I should've written it down some, because it's already evaded me.

I would love to one day become a person like Raul Dahl.

A slow Morning.

I wake up, drink a glass of water.
Boil up a pot of water.
Grind coffee.
Pour water over coffee.

Bam.

Breakfast on the porch. A slice of carrot cake, and curiously strong coffee.
Talked to my cousin Joe, then said goodbye to him.
I may not see him when he gets back. He gets off at 12 midnight, working his shift at the Portland International Airport. My big boy's all grown up.
I digress.
I may leave sooner than that, so yeah.
Currently, sitting and installing presets onto Lightroom. Many many pictures to come.
I love photography again.

After this, more studying.

Some posts from a hike we took.

Went on a little excursion with my friend Artem today, really great dude.
Went across the East fork Lewis river at Lewisville park, and discovered a camp spot that is labeled "Boy Scout Camp" on the map.
These are some shots I took on my phone.
I have an HTC DNA and I used the "Pro HDR" app.

 SCORED SOME THAI FOOD TOO!!!! My cousins are better than yours!
......Just kidding!


Well, maybe they are, but maybe not!!

Made a little video about the coast.

Check it out.

This time,

Picture a curvy road through a rainy, landscape. The skies just as sad as we are, rolling in a little dodge raider Dancing to electronic music. Arms flailing in the air that we have to use above our heads.
The seat I'm seating is squeaking along with the trumpet in the funky song jamming away.
.. Our attempt to lighten the sad, situation.
To leave paradise is just horrible. To leave behind a place that's of such great magnitude in both relaxation and absolute bliss. Just pure, unfiltered ecstacy.
I honestly can't speak or type enough words to explain how blessed I feel. Partly because I am just that. Blessed. I have not deserved to relax so much.. There was nothing I did that was as noteworthy. As beautiful and majestic as this great ocean, these beautiful Stars. As awe-evoking as the view that we were gifted.

Seriously. Things like this need to humble me.
That's why I'm writing here.

It isn't like anyone's reading. Hah!

So that's it.

We packed our bags and got in our cars.
We stopped by the Tillamook cheese factory and now we're on the way to seaside.
After that, life commences.
What'll happen. 
Where will I be.

Start acting in Sacramento. Drive trucks. Live out of the car. Do YouTube. Shrivel up into a medium ball and die?

I just don't know. But bring it!

Morning Guys *yawn

So I woke up in Paradise, and did a load of laundry.

Spent an amazing 15 minutes or so Brushing my teeth. *squeaky clean.

And I saw some photos and a video on the memory card from my t3i and decided to edit some.

Check it out!

Alright, so that wasn't Nuff said.

I can't help it you guys, this is beautiful.
I'm so free, I'm so joyful.
Quite literally, I feel a bubbly buzzing feeling in my core. I feel like in drowning in a huge ocean of good Vibes. Absolutely drowning.
The seat of this little 88 Dodge raider is jumping up and down as it strolls through evergreens thick with dark green color. The base of their trunks are crowded with lush ferns, clearly living in abundance. Awesome thick cotton ball clouds excuse themselves past the tops of the trees, moving slow but steady.
Life here seems simple. The kinda place where you're more likely to get a wave and smile from someone rather than a glare.
A place to edify each other rather than compete.

I'm free,  but I know there's work to be done after this. Much, much work. No job.. Yet no debt either...

What will happen, God only knows.

Here's some photos of where I'm at you guys.

It's incredible. I have no words. So just look!

 Mark and KiKi

 Nasty, Joe, Liz, Vicky, Irena and I.                 ...well Kinda.

Rolling hills

Fresh air. Three cars. 9 people. Warm Vibes.

Oregon Coast.

Nuff said.